Being Mary Jane’s Friend, Lisa.

Many of us have watched, or at least heard about the latest episode of Being Mary Jane, where one of her best friends, Lisa, takes her own life. There are a few things I need to say, but I want to be very intentional as to where I begin. Lisa Hudson is one of Mary Jane’s best friends from childhood; a brilliant and hardworking doctor who has fought her way through the struggles of battling mental illness with the hopes to lead a normal life, although that seemed to be very far fetched for her often times. In this episode, we learned more about Lisa than we’d ever known, and it gave us a clear view into the actuality of the painful lives so many of us live each day. Yes, us.




In this episode, we learned who Lisa was. No longer as an accessory to Mary Jane just because there was a convenience, but we learned about who she was in her individuality. We learned about the roots that upheld her foundation, childhood memories, detrimental tragedies, joyous past-times, the debilitating affects of her depression, and the life-long battle she fought that led her to the demise that was documented for the sake of our awareness. We got a front row seat into a sensory reality of what her world looked like when no one was around. The longing, the pain, the continuous cycle of yearning for answers unattainable and left to mystery, crying out for help silently, only for it not to be enough to sound any alarms, or too loud that it was silenced; sometimes by the silent treatment. Her fight was put completely in the forefront for once, and I mourned.



Why? Because I am Lisa.

Now, before you make any presumptuous assumptions, I am actively in therapy and working diligently to continue to LIVE, healthily. Her story was such a parallel to mine that it scared me. I seriously thought to myself, “Did one of them get a hold of my journal? Have they been secretly documenting my life this whole time?…”. It was unreal. Her childhood filled with academic accolades, being molested by a father figure for 5+ years, battling depression, being at odds with her parents, and a month ago I almost ended my life in the same EXACT way she did– a page right out of my life story, word for word! My jaw dropped as Mary Jane read Lisa’s eulogy, it was as if she was reading mine. It was scary, yet reassuring to know that the story was being told one way or another. I cried watching that scene as if Lisa was someone I’d known my whole life, and in retrospect I realize that I was actually crying for myself. I was crying because I know that battle to be very real and something I deal with each and every day, but I was also crying for my will to live. My biggest prayer is that my story does not end like Lisa’s did. I pray that I can always find something within to fight for. Always. The thought of giving up, losing hope, and throwing in the towel after fighting all of this time makes me sad, and that keeps me encouraged to keep pressing on. I know Lisa is a fictional character, but she represents some very real women. I will fight for my life for people like her who weren’t strong enough to handle the burdens of the world, and more importantly, of the mind.

Thank you, Lisa, for encouraging me to keep fighting.


“A semicolon is used when an author could’ve chosen to end their sentence, but chose not to. The author is you and the sentence is your life.”


with love,


If you feel like you have no where to turn and need help, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or visit


National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Breast Cancer Awareness Month: Wendy Wants to Hear Your Stories

“How Youuuu Doin?!”

I’m so trying to be like one of my favorite TV Talk Show Hosts, Ms. Wendy Williams, as I greet you this afternoon and share a very special moment from today’s show. (Click image to watch)



Today, Wendy sent me a special  SHOUT OUT and wanted to share her “Eye Candy of the Day”, a fun segment she does each day where she highlights a stylish fashionista(o) in her audience. Today, the lucky winner was Dawn of Patterson New Jersey, who is a breast cancer survivor! Many of us have been affected by breast cancer, whether it’s by being survivors ourselves, or having family of friends that have been affected. In June of 2007, I lost the most important person in my life, my grandmother, to breast cancer. I remember her most for her loving spirit, her emphasis on the importance of higher education, and all of the values she instilled in me to always be the best ME that I could be. I also have to honor the First Lady of my home church, Angela Waller, for being a 7 year breast cancer survivor! She is one of the most phenomenal, dynamic, and inspirational women I know, and her resilience and love of life is infectious and awe-inspiring!

As many of us have similar stories, October is a month where we can celebrate the lives of those who have won the battle, and of those who have lost it, but not without putting up a fight! I’d like to invite you to honor your loved ones, survivors and those that have gone on, to continue to express our love for them and to continue to strive toward finding a cure and offering comfort and love to those still in the fight. Wendy would love to hear your stories, stories that can continue to inspire those still in this fight.

Here’s mine, and I hope you will join me <3

For my grandmother who lost her battle with breast cancer:

My name is Sharontina, and I am honoring my grandmother, Carol Matthews. She was smart, loving, and selfless.  <3


For my First Lady who won her fight against breast cancer:

My name is Sharontina, and I am honoring my First Lady, Angela Waller. She is beautiful, independent, and a dynamic leader.”

Please join me in honoring someone…

For You:

My name is __________, and I am honoring ___________, my __________. She is/was ___________ ,____________, and ____________.




A Motherless Child: Remembering Bobbi Kristina Brown

Bobbi Kristina



I am so deeply saddened by the passing of Bobbi Kristina Brown. Deeply. Three years ago when I heard of the passing of her mother, Whitney Houston, after the initial shock, I immediately thought of her baby girl. So many things ran through my mind. Like imagining the pain she was feeling (unimaginable), wondering if she’d have the necessary support and room to grieve her best friend, her mother.  I imagined myself at 19, wondering if I’d have the strength big enough to get through losing my mother. Following Bobbi Kristina on social media gave me a glimpse into how she was dealing with it, and I’m sure it was only the part she wanted or could allow the world to see. Almost every post was about her mother, how much she missed her, how hard it had been just living day to day without her. I often got emotional and even cried a few times just out of pure empathy and the thought of such a loss.

I prayed for her when I’d see those posts, I sent encouraging tweets (as I’m sure did many), and I just hoped that the family would keep a tight hold of support and protection around her. The world knew her story, we’d all watched her grow up from the beginning until now. The shows where Whitney would bring her on stage to do a cute duet, being photographed alongside her infamous parents out and about, and even by way of their family reality show. She had to grow up fast and deal with many complex issues that were in the hand she was dealt. She was her Mother’s protector and safe keeper of sanity, especially during Whitney’s trying past of highly publicized triumph.




In January when news broke of the incident that occurred which put Bobbi Kristina in the state that she ultimately succumbed to, my heart was completely broken. For the series of events to be so similar to her Mother’s was almost haunting. All I wanted to know was how it happened and I prayed so desperately that she’d pull through. Although that’s what we all hoped for, God had a different plan for her, and as sad as it is to have lost her at such a young age and in such a tragic way, part of it is comforting to me. Knowing that she is reunited with the absolute love of her life. I know that the technical cause of death will be laced with complicated medial jargon, but I truly believe she died of a broken heart; the loss of the greatest love she’d known.

I pray that both of their souls are at rest together and that they can finally be at peace. Rest peacefully babygirl, now go take care of your Mom like you always have <3


Bobbi Kristina


With deep love,