Being Mary Jane’s Friend, Lisa.

Many of us have watched, or at least heard about the latest episode of Being Mary Jane, where one of her best friends, Lisa, takes her own life. There are a few things I need to say, but I want to be very intentional as to where I begin. Lisa Hudson is one of Mary Jane’s best friends from childhood; a brilliant and hardworking doctor who has fought her way through the struggles of battling mental illness with the hopes to lead a normal life, although that seemed to be very far fetched for her often times. In this episode, we learned more about Lisa than we’d ever known, and it gave us a clear view into the actuality of the painful lives so many of us live each day. Yes, us.

 

(source: BET.com)

 

In this episode, we learned who Lisa was. No longer as an accessory to Mary Jane just because there was a convenience, but we learned about who she was in her individuality. We learned about the roots that upheld her foundation, childhood memories, detrimental tragedies, joyous past-times, the debilitating affects of her depression, and the life-long battle she fought that led her to the demise that was documented for the sake of our awareness. We got a front row seat into a sensory reality of what her world looked like when no one was around. The longing, the pain, the continuous cycle of yearning for answers unattainable and left to mystery, crying out for help silently, only for it not to be enough to sound any alarms, or too loud that it was silenced; sometimes by the silent treatment. Her fight was put completely in the forefront for once, and I mourned.

 

(source: Blackandmarriedwithkids.com)

Why? Because I am Lisa.

Now, before you make any presumptuous assumptions, I am actively in therapy and working diligently to continue to LIVE, healthily. Her story was such a parallel to mine that it scared me. I seriously thought to myself, “Did one of them get a hold of my journal? Have they been secretly documenting my life this whole time?…”. It was unreal. Her childhood filled with academic accolades, being molested by a father figure for 5+ years, battling depression, being at odds with her parents, and a month ago I almost ended my life in the same EXACT way she did– a page right out of my life story, word for word! My jaw dropped as Mary Jane read Lisa’s eulogy, it was as if she was reading mine. It was scary, yet reassuring to know that the story was being told one way or another. I cried watching that scene as if Lisa was someone I’d known my whole life, and in retrospect I realize that I was actually crying for myself. I was crying because I know that battle to be very real and something I deal with each and every day, but I was also crying for my will to live. My biggest prayer is that my story does not end like Lisa’s did. I pray that I can always find something within to fight for. Always. The thought of giving up, losing hope, and throwing in the towel after fighting all of this time makes me sad, and that keeps me encouraged to keep pressing on. I know Lisa is a fictional character, but she represents some very real women. I will fight for my life for people like her who weren’t strong enough to handle the burdens of the world, and more importantly, of the mind.

Thank you, Lisa, for encouraging me to keep fighting.

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“A semicolon is used when an author could’ve chosen to end their sentence, but chose not to. The author is you and the sentence is your life.”

 

with love,
SB

 

If you feel like you have no where to turn and need help, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or visit www.SuicidePreventionLifeline.org

 

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Saying Farewell to A Queen

Violet Sutton
My Mom Mom, Violet Sutton, was one of the livliest, lovely, and fashionable great grandmothers a girl could have. At 88 years of age, she could honestly get around probably better than you and I, and had not ONE ailment. On Dec 6, 2012, the lord chose her to be on his side as she peacefully transitioned from our world to his kingdom in her sleep. The whole family was rocked silent, because as she was in perfect health and showed no signs of slowing down, to us Mom Mom was supposed to live forever. At least that’s how we saw it.
Those that knew her can truly say that she’d make light of every situation, and make you laugh even when you thought you could find no happiness within yourself. She would say whatever came to mind, regardless of your opinions or anticipated reaction, and would laugh it off to remind us how we need to enjoy life instead of worrying about the small stuff. She was proud to tell people that in her 80’s she could touch the floor without bending her knees like a pro gymnast, and did Wendy William’s rendition of “How youuu doinnn?!” better than anybody I know. My grandmother told me that when they were children, Mom mom Vi made all of their clothes by hand. Y’all know I love sewing, so this intrigued me, and in my younger years Mom Mom showed me how she made skirts and pants from scratch! Pattern whaaa?!. When I was like 8, I used to go over Mom mom’s house to have sleepovers with her, and we’d stay up all night (she was a night owl) and talk and eat Almond Joys in bed…lol. I didn’t even like Almond Joys, but being able to eat candy in bed was fun and Mom Mom let me do it! Most recently, when I’d go see Mom mom, she’d always make me leave with a bag of vintage dresses and shoes she didn’t want anymore, and as a vintage junkie she knew that it made me so excited. She’d sit in her chair and smile and laugh as she made me try things on and saw how hyper I got over a dress she bought 40+ years ago. When I asked ‘Omg, where did you get thissssss?!” she’d look at me and say “Chile, that thing is older than you about 3 times!” haha. I have had some good times with Mom mom, and those memories will last forever.
 On any given day, you could find her sauntering around the neighborhod running errands in her incognito shades, epic strawberry blond-ish fro, and cheetah print on at least one item of clothing. She was full of so much wisdom, and old-school remedies you’d never even know or think of, was a puzzle pro– no, seriously…she LOVED to do puzzled, and she’d glue them afterward and hang them on the walls like paintings– and she loved to talk and talk and talk just about anything, she just loved being in good company and in good spirits. Her faith was strong, and I can say that she loved the lord more than anything. She would always say that she thanked God for letting her live such a long and healthy life, and that when it was her time, it was her time. She had no fears, because she knew where she was headed. Not only did she have loving family members that preceeded her in death, but she knew the God she was going home to. Our family will miss the woman who started it all, who is responsible for the 4 generations she left behind, and who ALWAYS got the party started because she loved to dance. We will miss the woman who would let us stay up alllllllll night as kids, and only sent us to bed if we started falling asleep in the chair. We will miss the woman who makes the BEST potatoe salad on the planet and will tell you about yours if it didn’t taste right. We will miss the woman who would tell someone she was “sexy and she knows it” at 88 with sass and confidence. We will miss the woman who……… Mom Mom Vi, we will miss you. Whenever you left her house, she’d say “So long”, and said never say goodbye because you will see me again, and in this instance, that still stands true because this isn’t a goodbye, we will see you in heaven one day.
Violet Sutton

Mom mom in her Dream Girl days, circa 1960s

Love,
Tina
* We hope that you may find it in your heart, if you are able, to help us lay my grandmother to rest. She had no insurance, so her funeral costs have to be funded by the family, and in tough financial times, that would be hard for anyone. We appreciate every penny, from the smallest donations to the largest, it does not matter to us. Her funeral date is Friday, 12/14, and we are only nearing half of the $6,000 we need, but we have faith that we will get there because each day we get closer. Although this situation isn’t the best, I think she’s trying to teach our family a lesson. A lesson with the basic principle of coming together and making it work.  We thank you all so much for your generous contributions and PLEASE believe that we appreciate you so very much. If you’d like to donate, you can do so at this link http://VioletSutton.chipin.com, or on the widget below…

Thank you so much,

with love~ Sharontina B.