Don’t have a Valentine this year? Join the club. Am I bitter about it like most of the single women of the world are? Not really. I’m used to it (cues sarcastic, but hysterical laughter). This is only like the 80th year in a row that I’ve been in this situation. It’s a cute little holiday, but it’s extremely commercialized as are most holidays America celebrates. We’re a pretty shallow, money hungry, run by corporations type of country if you really think about it. I digress. That was bitterness talking.
I’d love to have a secret admirer and get a little card with candy stuck to it like in 2nd grade, but since I probably won’t, I decided to investigate as to why many of us can’t seem to find the “right” person, thus occasionally leaving us ValentineLESS on Valentine’s Day. A while ago I asked Professional Matchmaker & Life Coach, Paul C. Brunson a few questions about dating and here’s how it went.
Q 1.What is the most common reason people seem to attract the “wrong” people when dating?
A. Because we don’t value what we need over what we want. Also, on many occasions, out of fear, we don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings and therefore trap ourselves.
Q 2. In your opinion, what is the biggest “don’t do” on a first date?
A. Talking about your ex.
Q 3. How do you determine when the best time/way is to let your dating partner know you want to go from casual dating to exclusive dating?
A. Directly. We can’t “beat around the bush” with hints and general overtures. If we can’t communicate directly and openly with our partner, we can’t have a long-term relationship with them.
Q 4. For a hopeless romantic who never seems to find the right dating prospects, where would you suggest are the best types of places to go in order to find them?
A. There’s not an exact spot where all the singles congregate. That said, it is important to be proactive and do things differently (that’s the only way we’ll get different results).
Brief and direct, but there ya have it. Hopefully if you’re single for this V-day, the above advice can give you some insight and help you find a new beau. I’m not searching to find love (it is dreadfully tiring), but if love finds me, then so be it!
Happy Valentine’s Day, and don’t be so hard on yourself! Think about it, chocolate will be on sale!!! 😉
I guess you’re probably assuming from the title that this post is going to be a tell-all about my young love, and how it’s complicated because he doesn’t want to settle down, I do, and we can’t seem to compromise because we are both stubborn. Well, not exactly, but I may be able to find you a little resolve if that scenario spells out your situation.Paul C. Brunson, theeeee matchmaker of all match makers, who is commonly referred to as the “The Modern Day Hitch”, is the co-host of the Oprah Winfrey Network show Lovetown, USA, and is recognized as one of the most successful matchmakers and relationship coaches, is bringing the It’s Complicated LIVE! tour to Philly in celebration of his new book, It’s Complicated, But It Doesn’t Have to Be: A Modern Guide to Finding and Keeping Love. Paul will engage the audience in a lighthearted discussion about topics from his book that address many of the dating issues we may be going through, and will also offer tips that will help us get from the place we are to the place we want to be on today’s love scene.
The event will take place on March 21st, from 6-8PM (check-in at 5) at Bloomingdale’s in King of Prussia, and will include beauty makeovers for attendees as well as light refreshments. This event is going to be informative, intimate, and you will have the opportunity to network with professionals, tastemakers, bloggers, and entrepreneurs! It is free and open to the public, but you must RSVP for you an any guests to reserve your seat. I am so looking forward to to this conversation; I think all that attend will gain some insight into their relationship, or lack thereof, and be able to do something differently as it applies to them. To RSVP to attend this event, click HERE or call 215-706-3334.
Bloomingdale’s King of Prussia
660 W. Dekalb Pike
King of Prussia, PA
In the meantime, I’m aiming for a little Q&A with Paul before he makes his way to the city of brotherly love, so I’d like your input on questions you’d like me to ask! Sure I could come up with a million of my own, but we’re all in this together, so I want your help! To thank you for your help, your question will enter you for a chance to win a copy of Paul C. Brunson’s new book, It’s Complicated, But It Doesn’t Have to Be: A Modern Guide to Finding and Keeping Love! To submit your question in relation to dating, relationships, and love maintenance (ohhhh, love maintenance..) follow the instructions on the giveaway widget below:
My Mom Mom, Violet Sutton, was one of the livliest, lovely, and fashionable great grandmothers a girl could have. At 88 years of age, she could honestly get around probably better than you and I, and had not ONE ailment. On Dec 6, 2012, the lord chose her to be on his side as she peacefully transitioned from our world to his kingdom in her sleep. The whole family was rocked silent, because as she was in perfect health and showed no signs of slowing down, to us Mom Mom was supposed to live forever. At least that’s how we saw it.
Those that knew her can truly say that she’d make light of every situation, and make you laugh even when you thought you could find no happiness within yourself. She would say whatever came to mind, regardless of your opinions or anticipated reaction, and would laugh it off to remind us how we need to enjoy life instead of worrying about the small stuff. She was proud to tell people that in her 80’s she could touch the floor without bending her knees like a pro gymnast, and did Wendy William’s rendition of “How youuu doinnn?!” better than anybody I know. My grandmother told me that when they were children, Mom mom Vi made all of their clothes by hand. Y’all know I love sewing, so this intrigued me, and in my younger years Mom Mom showed me how she made skirts and pants from scratch! Pattern whaaa?!. When I was like 8, I used to go over Mom mom’s house to have sleepovers with her, and we’d stay up all night (she was a night owl) and talk and eat Almond Joys in bed…lol. I didn’t even like Almond Joys, but being able to eat candy in bed was fun and Mom Mom let me do it! Most recently, when I’d go see Mom mom, she’d always make me leave with a bag of vintage dresses and shoes she didn’t want anymore, and as a vintage junkie she knew that it made me so excited. She’d sit in her chair and smile and laugh as she made me try things on and saw how hyper I got over a dress she bought 40+ years ago. When I asked ‘Omg, where did you get thissssss?!” she’d look at me and say “Chile, that thing is older than you about 3 times!” haha. I have had some good times with Mom mom, and those memories will last forever.
On any given day, you could find her sauntering around the neighborhod running errands in her incognito shades, epic strawberry blond-ish fro, and cheetah print on at least one item of clothing. She was full of so much wisdom, and old-school remedies you’d never even know or think of, was a puzzle pro– no, seriously…she LOVED to do puzzled, and she’d glue them afterward and hang them on the walls like paintings– and she loved to talk and talk and talk just about anything, she just loved being in good company and in good spirits. Her faith was strong, and I can say that she loved the lord more than anything. She would always say that she thanked God for letting her live such a long and healthy life, and that when it was her time, it was her time. She had no fears, because she knew where she was headed. Not only did she have loving family members that preceeded her in death, but she knew the God she was going home to. Our family will miss the woman who started it all, who is responsible for the 4 generations she left behind, and who ALWAYS got the party started because she loved to dance. We will miss the woman who would let us stay up alllllllll night as kids, and only sent us to bed if we started falling asleep in the chair. We will miss the woman who makes the BEST potatoe salad on the planet and will tell you about yours if it didn’t taste right. We will miss the woman who would tell someone she was “sexy and she knows it” at 88 with sass and confidence. We will miss the woman who……… Mom Mom Vi, we will miss you. Whenever you left her house, she’d say “So long”, and said never say goodbye because you will see me again, and in this instance, that still stands true because this isn’t a goodbye, we will see you in heaven one day.
Mom mom in her Dream Girl days, circa 1960s
* We hope that you may find it in your heart, if you are able, to help us lay my grandmother to rest. She had no insurance, so her funeral costs have to be funded by the family, and in tough financial times, that would be hard for anyone. We appreciate every penny, from the smallest donations to the largest, it does not matter to us. Her funeral date is Friday, 12/14, and we are only nearing half of the $6,000 we need, but we have faith that we will get there because each day we get closer. Although this situation isn’t the best, I think she’s trying to teach our family a lesson. A lesson with the basic principle of coming together and making it work. We thank you all so much for your generous contributions and PLEASE believe that we appreciate you so very much. If you’d like to donate, you can do so at this link http://VioletSutton.chipin.com, or on the widget below…